Friday, 13 July 2012

#DHOBLE??

  

(the tune is title track of DON 2)

 #DHOBLE??

Duniya mein charsi ne dill apne phir thame

aaya hai leker yeh
phir kitne tamache

phir isne dhunda hai 
ke party hai kahan pe

darwale toode hai na chode deewarein

iss se baach paya hai kaun....
isko pechanlo yeh hai kaun!!!!

tweet mujh pe jo bhi lage
trend hua hun mein tho kya!!!

mujhko hai party rokna
paety walon ke shaan kiya!!!!

jo mujhko trend karvate
unko hai kya ye pata

"Iss se party ko chupana mushkil he nahi na mumkin hai"!!!!!

party ko rokne aaya kaun
mujhko pechan lo mein hun kaun!!!!

Wednesday, 20 June 2012

HAPPY FATHERS DAY oops FATHER’s DAY


Disclamair:- some incidents are based on personal life some are added just for fun…it is a different kind of humor..it is difficult to understand…I also didn’t got in the first time…so don’t be ashmed…

HAPPY FATHERS DAY oops FATHER’s DAY

I know it’s a bit late…but after all he is my dad so I have that liberty ..i can wish him anytime I want…
Well I don’t expect a thank you from him …for wishing him..and why should I ….infact I would like to thank him for everything he has done for me….!!! Like..

I would like to thank him for not wasting me in the bathroom…

I would like to thank him for beating me up each and every time…whenever I was wrong….

I would like to thank him for not signing my complaint page of my school calendar whenever I got one…or my report card …whenever I got less marks…

I would like to thank him for threatening me to send me to boarding school…for not studying well..

I would like to thank him to allow me to watch adult movies  late nite because he use to sleep very deeply…(snoring)

I would like to thank him for giving me so much hair….so that I can walk bravely in winter season….

Thankyou dad for teaching me how to watch NEWS (forcefully)instead of cartoons..

Thank you dad for forcing doctor to give me an injection instead of tablets…so that I don’t bunk the school on the next day….

Thank you dad for taking me to temples …instead of gardens…

Thank you dad for allowing me to sleep on your stomach….

Thank you dad for not teaching me but guiding me ..
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Well I cant write anymore…..
………. I might just cry!!!!!!...






P.S ...the person is not my dad and offcourse neither me...my dad dont wear shorts..!!!

Friday, 1 June 2012

bill please


The tune is aae dill hai mushkill jeena yahan
#BILL PLEASE#

Aae bill hai mushkill
Bharna yahan
Bade kharche jara bachke
Yeh hai mumbai mere jaan(2)

Kabhi 2G kabhi 3G 
Kabhi haanji kabhi seeth
Milta hai yahan sab kuch.
Bas bharta nahi peeth(2)

Aamiron ka hai yahan carvan..
Bade kharche jara bach ke ..
Yeh hai mumbai mere jaan..

Aaee bill hai mushkil...

Kahi loota, kahi kata
Kahi dhua, kahi rape..
Kahi chaata , kahi thooka
Par hota nahi case. (2)

Khadi walon ka hai bas khel yahan..
Bade kharche, jara bachke.
Yeh hai mumbai mere jaan..

Aae bill hai muskill...

Kahi hadtal, koi kangal
Sab atke thas thas
Sab thuse apne jabein
Kahe isko business..(2)

Garibon ka nahi koi naamo nishan


Bade kharche, jaara bachke

Yeh hai mumbai mere jaan..

Aae bill hai mushkill..

Jaise karne waise bharne
Sab maane yahan par..
Jo hai karta vo na bharta
Hai yahan ka yeh chalan.(2)

Gandhigiri abh nahi chalneke yahan..

Yah hai MUMBAI, yeh hai MUMBAI, yeh hai MUMBAI mere jaan..

Aae bill hai mushkil
Bharna yahan
Bade kharche jaara bachke
Yeh hai mumbai mere jaan..

Har bill pe milta discount yahan..
Kabhi vouchers kabhi i card.
Yeh hai mumbai mere jaan...

Aae bill hai mushkill...

tobacco


this is a parady the tune is "dhule ka sehera suhana lagta hai"(from dhadkan movie)

NO TOBACCO DAY

Cigrette ka dhua suhana lagta hai..
Cancer se tho pyaar purana lagta hai...

Cigrette ka dhua suhana lagta hai..
Cancer se tho pyaar purana lagta hai...

Oooo
Dhue se kaise jalte hai phepde
Cigrette ke siva kuch na bhata hai..

Cigrette ka dhua suhana lagta hai..
Cancer se tho pyaar purana lagta hai...

Tere hoton se juda cigrette ka jo bhandahn
Bhuka mara TB bhi hua par chuta na vo COTTON
Hai tere bus mein nahi chute na yeh aadat
Cigrette jo mile nahi tho hua hai tu pagal

Pagal pagalllll..pagal pagallll...

Muh ke badbu ko chupana padta hai...
Cancer se tho pyaar purana lagta

Dhue se kaise jalte hai phepde
Cigrette k siva kuch na bhata hai...

Cigrette ka dhua suhana lagta hai..
Cancer se tho pyaar purana lagta hai...

Monday, 7 November 2011

adjust kar


“Adjust kar ”
“Adjust kar” bhai “Adjust kar”.
Teen ke jagah char bitha ke adjust kar

Sarkar badha rahe hai bhav
Public ka bhade hai taav
Rickshaw chodke tu pedel hai jaaye
Itne paise tu kyun bachaye

Hotel mein tip dene ko tarse
Business chale hai ram bharose
Phir bhi girlfriend pe tu paise kharche
aur uske saath coffee pene ko tarse.

Jo tujhe pasand vo kise aur eke pass jaye
Tu akele dandiya khelte rehejaye
Dost log tera majak udaye.
Haas kart tu sab kuch hai jhel jaye.

Train mein kisike dhake ne tere nak hai phodi
Khene laga bhai sorry jaga do thodi
Bhete nak ke sath tu side mein hojaye.
Thank you bhai sahib bolke vo seat pe beth jaye.

Mehengai ke karan tere iccha hai adhoore
Bank loot ne baad ab hoge vo poore
Police ke dande tu khud hai khaye
Thode paise deker unko tu manaye
Haas ke tu apne izzat ki marvaye
Aur bhooke peth phir tu sojaye.

Itna adjust tu kyun hai karta
Sapne mein tho hai khul ke tu jeeta
Achanak se tera sapna hai toota
Subah uthkar kahye vo he joota

Kar apne din ke shruvat tu haas kar.
Par “Adjust kar” bhai “Adjust kar”.
Teen ke jagah char bitha ke adjust kar

Sunday, 30 October 2011

khushi

KHUSH
Haas ne se khushi jahir hoti hia.
Haas ne se gum bhi chupte hai
Phir bhi log khete hai khush hai hum.

Koi ghar se lad jhagad ke nikla hai.
Kissi ka batua chori hua hai.
Kissi ki train chhut gaye hai.
Koi apne app mein hi khoya hai.
Phir bhi log kheta hai khush hai hum.

Koi geele aankhon se has raha hai
Koi haas haas ke aankhein gele kar raha hai.
Phir bhi log kheta hai khush hai hum.
Koi pyaar ka bhooka hai.
Kissi ko bhaut pyar mil raha hai.
Kisi ko dusre ki khushi mein khushi milte hai.
Koi apne aap mein hi khush reheta hai.
Phir bhi log kheta hai khush hai hum.

Koi khushi ke bare mein sooch kar khush hota hai.
Koi khushi ko doond kar khush hota hai.
Kissi ki jeb bhari hai iseliye vo khush hai.
Kissi ka peth bhara hai iseliye vo khush hai.
Phir bhi log kheta hai khush hai hum.

Kissi ne apne majheb ka naam roshan kiya iseliye vo khush hai.
Kissi ka dushman mara iseliye vo khush hai.
Koi jung mein jeeta iseliye vo khush hai.
Koi pyaar mein mara iseliya vo khush hai.
Phir bhi log kheta hai khush hai hum.

Friday, 28 October 2011

upvaas


UPVASS
Upvass, Upvass, Upvass
Pata nahi kyun aata hai yeh upvaas
Sab josh mein aake karte hai
Phie kyun bhook se marte hai.

Aaise waqqt aata hai
Pani ko dekh ke muuh mein pani aata hai.
Aur din saal mein badal jata hai
Waqt kataye nahi kat ta hai
Aur bhooke peth neend nahi aata hai

Ghadi ka kata rooz ke anusar dheere chalta hai
Pata nahi kyun upvass ke din he aaisa hota hai
Dil karta ahia raath 12 baje uthkar dabba kar khaun
Phir kya batayun kaise apne peth ko samjata hun.

TV par cooking shows bhi aache aache aate hai
Aur upvass ke samay he unhe hum dhyan se dekhte hai
Bas abh yeh hai khena
Upvas tho hai karna

Kyunkiii……

Upvass, Upvass, Upvass
Pata nahi kyun aata hai yeh upvaas
Sab josh mein aake karte hai
Phie kyun bhook se marte hai.