SELFISH (matlabi)

SELFISH (matlabi)

Selfishnes can be or is your best friend...it helps you in day to day work of life in fact all of them if you practice it properly...

infact from child hood we are taught how to be selfish and even how to get exploited....

REMEMBER the choclate example:-

"Beta yeh kaam karlena tho tumhe choclate milege...."

"Beta yeh kaam karlena aur bake ke paise ke choclate kharid lena..."

Infact when someone interfers this "BETA" process the answer given is "sikhe ke ga kaise"

i guess this hint is enough for you to know towards whom i am pointing!!!!

to be selfish you need to follow three simple rules:-

. BENEFIT YOURSELF

. BENEFIT YOURSELF

. BENEFIT YOURSELF

and i guess the person will be successful if he doesn't get caught or if someone doesn't read this blog..:P

even shellfish are not so selfish

(P.S.- pls ingnore last line...!!!)

a small poem to justify in a bitter way:-

MATLABI(selfish)

insaan matlabi hua tho kya!!

khud ke swarth ke liye kaam karvaya tho kya!!!

mehnat cum hui hai

izzat dugni mili hai...

dusre ke khando pe pair rakh ke 

apne kameez safed hue hai

jaise ko tiasa karne jamana na raha

apne swarth ke liye haath  milana hai lakshay yahan...

log tho apne swarth ke liye kapde bhi utar walen

aur jarurat padi tho kapde bhi utar len...

duniya matlabi hai

insaan matlabi hua tho kya!!!

khud ke swarth ke liye dusre ko bhooka rakha tho kya!!!

har cheez mein apna fayda dhuund na hai kaida yahan

fayda na ho tho kaam bigad jaata yahan

pair chhune se bhagwan ke darshan tak

boss ko gud morning bolne se

biwi ko love you bolne tak

sab ke peeche kuch swarth hai

swarthi bano swarthi

yeh geeta mein nahi likha

yeh meine kaha hai!!!!

#DHOBLE??

  

(the tune is title track of DON 2)

 #DHOBLE??

Duniya mein charsi ne dill apne phir thame

aaya hai leker yeh

phir kitne tamache

phir isne dhunda hai 

ke party hai kahan pe

darwale toode hai na chode deewarein

iss se baach paya hai kaun....

isko pechanlo yeh hai kaun!!!!

tweet mujh pe jo bhi lage

trend hua hun mein tho kya!!!

mujhko hai party rokna

paety walon ke shaan kiya!!!!

jo mujhko trend karvate

unko hai kya ye pata

"Iss se party ko chupana mushkil he nahi na mumkin hai"!!!!!

party ko rokne aaya kaun

mujhko pechan lo mein hun kaun!!!!

HAPPY FATHERS DAY oops FATHER’s DAY

Disclamair:- some incidents are based on personal life some are added just for fun…it is a different kind of humor..it is difficult to understand…I also didn’t got in the first time…so don’t be ashmed…

HAPPY FATHERS DAY oops FATHER’s DAY

I know it’s a bit late…but after all he is my dad so I have that liberty ..i can wish him anytime I want…

Well I don’t expect a thank you from him …for wishing him..and why should I ….infact I would like to thank him for everything he has done for me….!!! Like..

I would like to thank him for not wasting me in the bathroom…

I would like to thank him for beating me up each and every time…whenever I was wrong….

I would like to thank him for not signing my complaint page of my school calendar whenever I got one…or my report card …whenever I got less marks…

I would like to thank him for threatening me to send me to boarding school…for not studying well..

I would like to thank him to allow me to watch adult movies  late nite because he use to sleep very deeply…(snoring)

I would like to thank him for giving me so much hair….so that I can walk bravely in winter season….

Thankyou dad for teaching me how to watch NEWS (forcefully)instead of cartoons..

Thank you dad for forcing doctor to give me an injection instead of tablets…so that I don’t bunk the school on the next day….

Thank you dad for taking me to temples …instead of gardens…

Thank you dad for allowing me to sleep on your stomach….

Thank you dad for not teaching me but guiding me ..

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Well I cant write anymore…..

………. I might just cry!!!!!!...

P.S ...the person is not my dad and offcourse neither me...my dad dont wear shorts..!!!

bill please

The tune is aae dill hai mushkill jeena yahan

#BILL PLEASE#

Aae bill hai mushkill

Bharna yahan

Bade kharche jara bachke

Yeh hai mumbai mere jaan(2)

Kabhi 2G kabhi 3G 

Kabhi haanji kabhi seeth

Milta hai yahan sab kuch.

Bas bharta nahi peeth(2)

Aamiron ka hai yahan carvan..

Bade kharche jara bach ke ..

Yeh hai mumbai mere jaan..

Aaee bill hai mushkil...

Kahi loota, kahi kata

Kahi dhua, kahi rape..

Kahi chaata , kahi thooka

Par hota nahi case. (2)

Khadi walon ka hai bas khel yahan..

Bade kharche, jara bachke.

Yeh hai mumbai mere jaan..

Aae bill hai muskill...

Kahi hadtal, koi kangal

Sab atke thas thas

Sab thuse apne jabein

Kahe isko business..(2)

Garibon ka nahi koi naamo nishan

Bade kharche, jaara bachke

Yeh hai mumbai mere jaan..

Aae bill hai mushkill..

Jaise karne waise bharne

Sab maane yahan par..

Jo hai karta vo na bharta

Hai yahan ka yeh chalan.(2)

Gandhigiri abh nahi chalneke yahan..

Yah hai MUMBAI, yeh hai MUMBAI, yeh hai MUMBAI mere jaan..

Aae bill hai mushkil

Bharna yahan

Bade kharche jaara bachke

Yeh hai mumbai mere jaan..

Har bill pe milta discount yahan..

Kabhi vouchers kabhi i card.

Yeh hai mumbai mere jaan...

Aae bill hai mushkill...

tobacco

this is a parady the tune is "dhule ka sehera suhana lagta hai"(from dhadkan movie)

NO TOBACCO DAY

Cigrette ka dhua suhana lagta hai..
Cancer se tho pyaar purana lagta hai...

Cigrette ka dhua suhana lagta hai..
Cancer se tho pyaar purana lagta hai...

Oooo
Dhue se kaise jalte hai phepde
Cigrette ke siva kuch na bhata hai..

Cigrette ka dhua suhana lagta hai..
Cancer se tho pyaar purana lagta hai...

Tere hoton se juda cigrette ka jo bhandahn
Bhuka mara TB bhi hua par chuta na vo COTTON

Hai tere bus mein nahi chute na yeh aadat
Cigrette jo mile nahi tho hua hai tu pagal

Pagal pagalllll..pagal pagallll...

Muh ke badbu ko chupana padta hai...
Cancer se tho pyaar purana lagta

Dhue se kaise jalte hai phepde
Cigrette k siva kuch na bhata hai...

Cigrette ka dhua suhana lagta hai..
Cancer se tho pyaar purana lagta hai...

adjust kar

“Adjust kar ”

“Adjust kar” bhai “Adjust kar”.

Teen ke jagah char bitha ke adjust kar

Sarkar badha rahe hai bhav

Public ka bhade hai taav

Rickshaw chodke tu pedel hai jaaye

Itne paise tu kyun bachaye

Hotel mein tip dene ko tarse

Business chale hai ram bharose

Phir bhi girlfriend pe tu paise kharche

aur uske saath coffee pene ko tarse.

Jo tujhe pasand vo kise aur eke pass jaye

Tu akele dandiya khelte rehejaye

Dost log tera majak udaye.

Haas kart tu sab kuch hai jhel jaye.

Train mein kisike dhake ne tere nak hai phodi

Khene laga bhai sorry jaga do thodi

Bhete nak ke sath tu side mein hojaye.

Thank you bhai sahib bolke vo seat pe beth jaye.

Mehengai ke karan tere iccha hai adhoore

Bank loot ne baad ab hoge vo poore

Police ke dande tu khud hai khaye

Thode paise deker unko tu manaye

Haas ke tu apne izzat ki marvaye

Aur bhooke peth phir tu sojaye.

Itna adjust tu kyun hai karta

Sapne mein tho hai khul ke tu jeeta

Achanak se tera sapna hai toota

Subah uthkar kahye vo he joota

Kar apne din ke shruvat tu haas kar.

Par “Adjust kar” bhai “Adjust kar”.

Teen ke jagah char bitha ke adjust kar

khushi

KHUSH

Haas ne se khushi jahir hoti hia.

Haas ne se gum bhi chupte hai

Phir bhi log khete hai khush hai hum.

Koi ghar se lad jhagad ke nikla hai.

Kissi ka batua chori hua hai.

Kissi ki train chhut gaye hai.

Koi apne app mein hi khoya hai.

Phir bhi log kheta hai khush hai hum.

Koi geele aankhon se has raha hai

Koi haas haas ke aankhein gele kar raha hai.

Phir bhi log kheta hai khush hai hum.

Koi pyaar ka bhooka hai.

Kissi ko bhaut pyar mil raha hai.

Kisi ko dusre ki khushi mein khushi milte hai.

Koi apne aap mein hi khush reheta hai.

Phir bhi log kheta hai khush hai hum.

Koi khushi ke bare mein sooch kar khush hota hai.

Koi khushi ko doond kar khush hota hai.

Kissi ki jeb bhari hai iseliye vo khush hai.

Kissi ka peth bhara hai iseliye vo khush hai.

Phir bhi log kheta hai khush hai hum.

Kissi ne apne majheb ka naam roshan kiya iseliye vo khush hai.

Kissi ka dushman mara iseliye vo khush hai.

Koi jung mein jeeta iseliye vo khush hai.

Koi pyaar mein mara iseliya vo khush hai.

Phir bhi log kheta hai khush hai hum.